(The ruminations of your average switch-bitch)
Sweetie darling, you should have witnessed this! After a barrage of under-handed insults and alienating us/them dichotomies being drawn like a line in the proverbial sand, I had decided I had enough with being painfully polite and accommodating with reason falling on deaf ears. Chuck this, enough Mr Nice Gay I decided. Hierdie tannie het beter dinge om met haar tyd te doen!
You know dear, you get these people who intrude and trash well-meaning initiatives without probably thinking further than their noses. Pity, you see, some seem awfully capable, just sheer misdirected anger that will stymie any skewed attempted advances.
Now, I don’t play agony aunt often. So hear me out sweetie pie. I would so much like to offer my 2 cents of wisdom – of course acquired with dealing with your average irate client and general malcontent. Excuse me a few seconds while I quickly climb on this shaky soap box here and put on my best outfit a lá Cosmopolitan.
Ahem, okay, ladies and gents, here’s my advice to budding young armchair critics:
Firstly honeys, you will accomplish didly-squat by vexing those supporting your cause. Oh and I am so sorry that I am excluded by birth from your noble little clique. I guess that places you in the same spot as the bigots you so virulently dislike. If you want to have a warranted bitch fight I will supply you with the contact details of Stonewall (profuse giggle). There you have a reason to bitch on poetically to the tune of your arrogance and self-fulfilling prophecies.
There is a rift between X and Y you say. I say, yeah? Well, you are complicit in deepening that rift.
If I approach everyone with the premise of confrontation and contempt that is most likely exactly what I'll get. I'll not only exude gross antagonism but will exhume it from the darkest trenches of misdirected resentment too.
Another theme I picked up from you is a literal parallel with the notion held by the right wing: that rights gained by one group inherently infringes upon the rights of others. You do not grant your neighbour a modicum of liberty out of pure spite and begrudge them for it. Yeah, life sucks, I should know. Ask any switch-bitch. But who gave you the surreal insight and crude presumptuousness and that you may declare what others are supposedly confined to? Excuse me but who died and made you queen?
Why fight for the right to marry? Hmm... I will let you think about that one for a while. This tannie did not think so many people can you have so little insight. Forgive me for expecting at least a degree of comprehension and knowledge of all things pragmatic.
Anyhoo sweeties – this soap box is about to collapse – they should really give me a better one next time...