I have a tendency of very often having an overwhelming urge to write but no subject matter. Sure there’s a plethora of things going on but other bloggers have already written about it, and much better. So – my writing only happens when I am overly emotional or drawn into a subject or event. If it has an impact on me I tend to not be at a loss for words, otherwise I just stare at the MS Words white page. It is quite horrifying and normally either leads to feelings of profound apathy/despair/agitation or angst.
I acquired a contentious topic a week ago, did considerable research and gathered quite a lot of academic sources. The problem: I have to piece together an article which is an amalgamation of sources and syntheses of hypotheses. Meta-analysing the process should not be encouraged – especially to those with a tendency to be a tad bit over-analytical and employing psychoanalysis and feasibility studies on basically much of what they do. Damn those lecturers, textbooks written by smug academics, and pedantry. Had I not meta-analysed I could have been much more productive.
Then again it acts as a quality control filter and had I not purposely switched off these cerebral faculties this commentary would have never seen the light of day. I cannot write on demand – many other things I can. I am quite adept at writing pompous wannabe dissertations on pharmacology. It is normally lost on I’d say 99% of any audience in general. Anthropology and social dynamics coupled with psychology I find very interesting and I like to muse at it at length.
At around 01:00 I thought about the scenario and wrote this status update:
I am essentially a frustrated writer, ideas fleeting and rife but consummation rare, boredom quickly sets in; nonconformity, nonchalance stifles and formality abundant; modafinil or hypomania usually conducive to creation though usually utterly self-amusing or sardonically deprecating
I might not be a prolific writer but I read a lot. And with “a lot” I mean hours of reading every single day. LGBT advocacy groups’ blogs, my fellow executive’s blog, news in relation to all matters Pink and continually researching some item from the pharmacopoeia. I might not write that much but I am pretty much up to date.
I scan a lot of usually irrelevant Google Alerts – one might just see something in all the clutter. When I find something that I find to be in the ambit of our organisation I send emails and mobile text messages as an alert. We have an online conference and decide on a strategy and we pounce on the issue in a matter of a few minutes in a feline fashion.
Information is ubiquitous nowadays and according to some veneered academics wants to be free. We will thus see whatever happens and react on it.
The all-seeing I is watching, reading and occasionally writing. The all-seeing I might not be in the press all the time, the all-seeing I prefers relative anonymity and is acutely aware of his personal safety and thus vigilant. But the I still sees. Everything.